Sub-Project
Title
Progressing
towards a true being
Foundation Course for Facilitators (2005-2006)
Facilitator: Ameeta Mehra
A course by The Gnostic
Centre,
Student: Astha Butail
Total Number of Words: 1,068
Date of Submission:
Do you know yourself completely? 3
Difficulties in becoming a
True Being 6
Overcoming Difficulties in becoming a True Being 7
“. . . on the quality of your aim will depend the
quality of your life.”[1]
And so the burning desire to
make the quality of my life the best made my being choose a topic that would
help me focus on myself and so develop in me an ability to always act from
within and minimize the chaos of the outer comedy.
When I asked myself that did
I know myself I was just left groping for the right answer for I realised I was
merely nothing but a mass of environmental influences and so had developed pre-conceived
ideas of what was correct and what was wrong for me. I was always running after
something, after stability and security, after happiness and company, after
life-fulfillment and after all sorts of notions and experiences that had
actually been fed into me from what I had seen as a child to adolescence to
adulthood. I realized that I was not what I thought of myself; I realized that
there was much more within which needed to be explored and so I was in search
of my true being which was within me but perhaps just not on the surface. So
all I had to do was concentrate on myself and my activities, concentrate on my
aspiration of becoming a completely individualized being and follow.
Do you
know yourself completely?
I am sure, to that you would
say- of-course I know myself completely.
Well, then, if I ask you
that if you know yourself completely what is the center of your being? I mean when
you do what you do what is the one driving force that pulls you to action or
perhaps in-action?
Is it for the sake of your
family and responsibility? Or is it because of love? Or is it because of
desires and seeking after happiness? Or
is it because of money? Or is it because of compassion or perhaps sometimes
pity? Or out of fear, fear of losing a position and status, fear of security,
fear of society, fear of quarrels, fear of failure? Or due to judgments you
pass about yourself and others, or due to your pre-conceived notions and ideas?
Or do you act because of greed, envy, enmity, vanity or is impulse the reason
of your action? Or out of pleasure? Or out of never-ending calculations of the
benefits that the thing would bring you? Or just to make a point? Or due to
boredom and depression?
Were you able to get the
answer?
Perhaps there is not one
answer because you are a different individual in different circumstances. Aren’t
you different when you are a parent/sibling, to that when you are the
boss/employee to that when you are the tenant/renter to that when you are a
friend/foe to that when you are daughter/daughter-in-law? The list could be
endless.
Not having to deny that
diverse situations need diverse treatments but have you ever asked yourself
that does your inner poise remain untouched or unperturbed while dealing with
one and sundry? Whatever role one plays whether that of a friend or foe, is one
able to keep a stability of peace and calm within?
The question is thus of this inner poise, this inner
confidence which never makes you lose your focus of activity and your focus of
life.
Sri Aurobindo calls it the psychological
center because it is the inmost part of the being, which supports all its outer
movements. The name given to this center is psychic.
“. . . a truly
individualized being is conscious of himself, united with his psychic being, governed
by his inner law and, consequently, almost if not totally free from external
influences; for, being conscious, when these influences come, he sees them: those
that seem to him to harmonize with his inner development and normal growth he
accepts; those which are opposed he refuses. And so instead of being a chaos –
or in any case a frightful mixture – they are organized beings, individual, conscious
of themselves, walking through life knowing where and how they want to go.”[2]
What is thus needed is the
wisdom to sieve the external happenings and become the master of what comes in
and what is not allowed entry into one.
Putting in other words, a
union and governance with one’s psychic being.
Difficulties
in becoming a True Being
One must not forget that the
scales of difficulties are nothing but scales of victory unachieved.
The habit
of response and the attribute to prove oneself right is the first folly.
Then is
the difficulty of overcoming all sorts of knots in one’s being, the knot of
doubt, the knot of blind instincts and impressions rather than knowledge of
things, the knot of irresolution, the knot of fumbling reason and pre-conceived
notions, the knot of useless chatter, the knot of contradictory ideas made up of
mostly impressions, feelings and emotions, the knot of conflicting uncontrolled
subconscious influences.
The knot
of desire, the knot of lust and longing, the knot of boredom, the knot of longing
and craving and desires and demands and sensations and passions and selfishness
and pride and arrogance and lust and greed and jealousy and envy and dissatisfaction
and boredom and depression.
Other
knots of stupidity and doubt and disbelief and obscurity and pettiness and unwillingness
to change and laziness and inertia and sexual impulses and illness.
Overcoming
Difficulties in becoming a True Being
Though
there are numerous ways to handle the obstacles, I would share the steps that I
have undertaken.
Firstly,
when I realized my negative reactions to outer influences, which were
disturbing my inner peace, I was steadfast and didn’t allow any objectivity to
scare me. Instead, I only concentrated on aspiring on becoming a true being.
Secondly,
I observed myself completely and used day-to-day happenings as a playing field
for reflection. I became a witness.
Thirdly,
I shed any baggage of guilt and fret and concentrated on just breathing freely.
Fourthly,
I kept aspiring sincerely.
Fifthly,
I learnt the art of dynamic meditation, the meditation for transformation.
Lastly,
I kept my faith intact coupled with lots of patience.
I do not want to conclude
because the process of individualization is still unfolding itself.
“…from the near to the far,
from that which is to that which shall be.”[3]
Astha Butail
Appendix - I
The word psychic used
with different words would mean different things.
Psychic Principle : It is
“ the nucleus pregnant with Divine possibilities that supports this lower
triple manifestation of mind, life and body”.It is the non-individualized
portion of the Divine consciousness that descends into the evolution “to
support the evolution of the individual out of the Ignorance into the Light”
Psychic Personality: Or
it is also called the Psychic Being, which is progressive, grows from life to life,
using mind, vital and body as its instruments.
The psychic being as its
origin is only a spark of the Divine consciousness and it is through successive
lives that it builds up a conscious individuality. It is a progress similar to
that of a growing child. It is a thing in the making.
The psychic is the
psychological centre of our being because it is the in most part of our
being,supporting all other parts – mental,vital,psychical.Though in theory the
psychic is the true master of the being who puts forth and uses the instruments
of mind ,life and body,in actuality in most human beings the psychic is
entirely veiled and overshadowed by its mental,vital and physical
instruments.The outer consciousness of the human being “lives amongst all the
external noises and movements in what it sees,what it does,what it says,istead
of looking within,into the depths of the being and listening to the inner
ispirations” So the psychic being remains behind the outer consciousness as a
“secret witness”, “a secluded King in a screened chamber”
Psychic in the front :The
psychic being is always there,but is not felt because it is covered by the mind
and the vital;when it is no longer covered up,it is then said to be awake.When
it is awake it begins to take hold of the rest of the being,to influence it,to
change it so that all may become the true expression of the inner soul.It is
this change that is called the inner conversion.There can be no conversion
without the awakening of the psychic being
(SABCL 24:1096)
Appendix
- II
Appendix
-III
I
Subconscient:
Half
conscious -- Its reason of existent
Obscure/ill-organized /incoherent
impressions of the mind, vital, physical
Mechanical Repetitions of past
thought, feelings, action, illness
Recognizing
the need to change my subconscient – The first step towards integral transformation
II Inner
Consciousness
The Subliminal
III Outer
Consciousness
Mind:
Dealing with the following:
Doubt
Pre-conceived
ideas
Blind
Instincts
Random
Intuitions
Useless Chatter
Jumping
to conclusions
Imprecise
Impression
rather than knowledge of things
Contradictory
ideas made up of mostly impressions, feelings and emotions.
Irresolution
Conflicting
Uncontrolled subconscious Influences
Vital:
Longing
and Craving
Desires and Demands
Sensations and Passions
Selfishness
Pride and Arrogance
Lust
Greed
Jealousy and Envy
Hostility to the Truth
Impulses and force pushes
Seekings after life fulfillment
Possession and enjoyment
Dis-satisfaction and Boredom
Depression
Psychical:
Stupidity
Doubt and Disbelief
Obscurity
Pettiness
Unwillingness to change
Laziness
and Inertia
Sexual
Impulses
Illness
Appendix -IV
Dynamic
Meditation